|d i o n y s u s (winehoused) wrote,|
@ 2018-09-29 19:28:00
i didn't get a lot in class
FULL NAME: Dionysus
NICKNAMES: Διονυσος, Dionysos, Drunk Bastard, D-Bag, Drunky Brewster, G Dizzle the God of Wine-izzle
AGE: 3,000 something going on 5. He is an adult child.
DOB: Since he was born twice he's chosen two birthdays the celebrate; St. Patrick's Day and the start of Oktoberfest
PLACE OF BIRTH: Ancient Greece
ROLE God of wine, vegetation, festivity, and theatre
MARITAL STATUS: Married
SEXUALITY: Doesn't discriminate
PARENTS: Zeus and Selene, then Zeus again
SIBLINGS: Ares, Athena, Apollo, Artemis, Aphrodite, Hebe, Hermes, Heracles, Helen of Troy, Hephaestus, Perseus, Minos, the Muses, the Graces
OFFSPRING: the Charites, Priapus, Hymenaios, Staphylus, Thoas, Peparethus, Oenopion, Phanus, Eurymedon, Euanthes, Latramys, Tauopolis, Ceramus, Maron, Enyeus, Phthonus, Deianeira, Comus, Iacchus, Telete, Phlias, Narcaeus, Carmanor, Medus, Thysa
• Arthur Randleman, 33 years old. Call him Randy or Art - never Arthur.
• Was officially dead for six minutes when he was just eight years old and getting his appendix removed.
• Cannot live a day without his iPod or without making at least one Monty Python reference.
• He's kind of like.. a wild animal whisperer? His college friends once paid him $50 to sneak up on a bear and he totally did. There's photographic proof.
• Can drink a German under the table during Oktoberfest and yet miraculously, his liver is 100% functional and healthy.
• College drop out.
• He has a Muse-corrupting problem.
• Don't ever challenge him to a drinking game. You may literally die trying.
• Or a dance off, because again, you may literally die trying to beat him. His hips don't lie.
• Makes his own red wine labeled, Dynosian, because apparently naming your wine "dinosaur" isn't likely to sell, so it's a play on that and his name. Because it's the coolest name. The wine ranges from dry to super sweet, and he sells it locally at markets and festivals.
• It is on his personal bucket list to get every single Archangel and stuck up deity pissed drunk.
• Can be an intimidating asshole when needed, but insists on drinking worries away instead.
• He and Ariadne have a bunch of "scaly kids": a monitor lizard, four bearded dragons, six snakes. Their entire basement is a big herp hangout. As a result find a pet-sitter is incredibly hard.
• BEARDIES: Jabba the Hutt, Apep the hyperactive gamer, cuddle bug Charlie Darwin, and Mystique the dreamer.
• SAVVY: Goob the
i said, "no, no, no"
The son of the beautiful mortal Semele and the mighty Zeus' love affair. Semele had no idea who her lover really was since Zeus always came to her in another form, refusing to disclose his identity. Hera however, figured it all out and decided to put an end to it. Hera disguised herself as Semele's nurse and convinced her to make Zeus take an oath that he would grant her a single wish. And he did. Semele then asked him to reveal his identity, his true self, over which Zeus was heartbroken. Semele refused to change her request, and Zeus had no choice to to comply since he had sworn an oath. So when he changed into his true form, and his thunderbolts filled the room Semele was struck by the lightning and died. Zeus, with the help of his trusty assistant/wet nurse Hermes, had to rescue the Dionysus from his mother's womb as she lay dying. They stitched the premature infant into Zeus' thigh and he carried him there until the baby was ready to be born.
Hermes took bb!Dionysus to a King and his wife and insisted they raise him as a girl, not a boy in order to protect him from Hera's wrath. And his childhood continued with being moved around and protected by many; from the rain nymphs of Nysa, Rhea and even Persephone who cared for him in the Underworld. Once he grew up, Dionysus discovered the culture of the vine and the mode of extracting its precious juice; and Hera discovered him -- and once she did she struck him with madness causing him to wander through various parts of the world.
Rhea cured him and taught him her religious rites, and he was also one of the many famous pupils of the centaur Chiron before he set out on a progress through Asia teaching the people the cultivation of the vine. The most famous part of his wanderings is his expedition to India, which is said to have lasted several years. According to legend, when Alexander the Great reached a city called Nysa near the Indus river, the locals said that their city was founded by Dionysus in the distant past and their city was dedicated to him. Returning in triumph he introduced his worship into Greece, but was opposed by some princes who dreaded its introduction on account of the disorders and madness it brought with it thanks to Hera.
Dionysus was actually quite exceptionally attractive and often mistaken as a prince - he was even kidnapped by pirates once for this very reason. They tried to sail him far away to sell for ransom or into slavery, trying to bind him with ropes but none could hold him. Dionysus turned into a lion and unleashed a bear on board, killing those he came into contact with while those who abandoned ship were mercifully turned into dolphins. The only survivor was the helmsman, Acoetes, who recognized the god and tried to stop the sailors from the start. It was then that he started to gain a greater following.
Once, Dionysus found his old school master missing/passed out drunk in King Midas' rose garden - Midas recognized him, and treated him hospitably, entertaining him for ten days and nights with politeness. Dionysus offered Midas his choice of whatever reward he wanted - and Midas asked that whatever he might touch should be changed into gold. Dionysus consented, though was sorry that he had not made a better choice. Of course Midas rejoiced in his new power, which he abused from the start touching numerous twigs and rocks and turning them into gold. However upon returning home, Midas ordered his servants to prepare a feast and found that his bread, meat, daughter and wine turned to gold as well. He was kind enough to take the power back when it was deemed incredibly inconvenient by the King.
Having been resurrected from the dead himself, Dionysus also brought his mother Semele back to life, descending into the Underworld after bribing Persephone with a sprig of myrtle and then standing up to Thanatos. Dionysus brought his mom back to Mount Olympus, although Semele had to change her name and live in an apartment so that her presence among them would not be scandalous, even Hera was willing to accept her presence there. Dionysus himself was one of the only Olympian gods who did not reside on Mount Olympus because he was constantly travelling the world with a crazy band of Satyrs and Maenads in order to discover the secrets of winemaking. When Hephaestus bound Hera to a magical chair, Dionysus got him drunk and brought him back to Olympus after he passed out - after all ohana means family, and family means no one gets left behind.
Dionysus married Ariadne, a princess who had been a moon goddess during earlier times when the Titans ruled. Ariadne had been engaged to the hero Theseus who had deserted her on Naxos. Dionysus fell in love with her and together they had several children, none of whom achieved great fame and one was even killed by Perseus. Since he had already sown his wild oats before in his younger years, settling down wasn't so bad. The nymph, Psalacantha, tried very hard but failed at winning the love of Dionysus as his loyalty was with his wife Ariadne, and ended up being changed into a plant.
As a god of fertility he is closely linked with crops, the harvest, and changing of the seasons. And as god of wine and ecstasy, he is associated with drunkenness, madness, and unrestrained sexuality. His very nature includes a productive, life-giving side and a bestial, destructive side.
i know it don't come in a shot glass
water into wine; which has gotten him into trouble in the past but whatevs, find another party trick Jesus.
flash mob; has the ability to start a party anytime, anywhere simply by dancing or singing.
hips don't lie; his presence can cause a feeling of ecstasy or intoxication if he choses, this is usually done at the most awkward of times for the victim.
miracle gro; he can accelerate plant growth and ripen premature or rotten fruits/vegetables.
through the grapevine; can summon vines from under the Earth to manipulate, essentially making him a manly Poison Ivy.
bear necessities; able to shapeshift into numerous wild animals though he constantly favors the siberian tiger and kodiak bear.
CONTACT: contact post
PB: Chris Pratt